St. Martyr high school

I was awake from early in the morning, that irritating dream where that monster was about to rip my head off left me without much of a sleep *sigh*

I need my sleep.

I didn’t want to get out of bed yet, I still had like 2h left to start getting ready for school. I guess is a good thing that I’m starting school straight away, I don’t think I would stand being in this house the whole day, being around her.

My head couldn’t get around the fact that she really didn’t ask how I was last night; neither took a second look at me to see how a grownup I am.

It kind of upsets me.

Actually, what did I expect? She was never there for me why would she be there now? Even though we live in the same house, what’s wrong with me? I shouldn’t even care, I don’t care. I hate her! I shook all those thoughts out of my head, I knew I wasn’t going to sleep any more so I stood up, opened my suitcase and got my toothbrush and towel, unlocked the door and got out of the room.

I walked very slowly through the corridor not wanting to wake anybody up and then I stopped in place when I realized that Jeremy didn’t tell me where the bathroom was.

This house was huge with lots of doors which one would it be?

“Now I’m gonna have to play hide and seek with the bathroom”

 I muttered under my breath

“Great, just great!”

I opened the first door I saw. No, that wasn’t it, so I kept walking. Suddenly a rough voice saying

“The 3^rd door to the left” Made me jump.

I looked at her –that was standing in front of what I guess it was her bedroom’s door— and I walked into the 3^rd door to the left without saying a word.

When I got in I stripped my clothes off and got into the shower, mmh! That’s what I needed, a hot shower to relax, 30 min of my time were gone in that shower, when I got out I was relaxed and feeling kinda good –all the good I could feel in that house— I brushed my teeth, walked out and back into my room.

As soon as I sat down I started to feel dizzy so I lay on my bed for a while.

It always happened to me when I took a really hot shower, so hot that it almost burned my skin, but I liked it that way, it helped me relax –I don’t hope you to understand, that’s just my thing—.

After a while I started to doze off but a knock on my door made it impossible, I woke up completely and went to see who it was, I opened the door just a little to peek in and of course it was Jeremy

“Where you still sleeping?”

I opened the door a bit more so he could see that I just came from the shower,

“Ok”

He said with a smile

“Just letting you know that breakfast is ready, you better hurry if you don’t want to be late” I nodded and he left.

Late? Why would I be late when I still had like an hour or so to get ready? Whatever…I didn’t unpack last night so I had to search in my suitcase for a while. I finally found a pair of blue jeans and a grey sweater with a hood that I worn with a plane white t-shirt underneath, I left my hair down so it could dry by itself, I emptied my backpack on the floor leaving in just a few pens and a notebook, I will clean all that later tonight I thought, the perfect excuse to be in my room after school, so I got out leaving all the mess behind. I knew she would be downstairs but I thought to myself I’ll act like she doesn’t exist, I’ve been doing that my whole life so it wasn’t going to be difficult now and as I thought about that I went downstairs.

The smell of toasts and pancakes made my mouth water again like last night, this time I didn’t have any excuse to not to eat and I didn’t want to have it either, I hadn’t have a bite of anything in the last 24h and I was starving.

As I walked into the kitchen the smell was getting deeper and deeper into my nose and then I saw Jeremy sat waiting for me.

Elizabeth was nowhere to be seen which made me happy and my body suddenly relaxed –I wasn’t aware that I was that tense— because I could sit and eat.

I didn’t like Jeremy either but I didn’t mind him that much.

“Thought you would take time to get ready”

          “I took time”

“10 minutes?” he said gauging my reaction

“Yeah, why?” I sat down

“…nothing” He said eying me amused, his eyes run from my head to toes and then shook his head, a shadow of a smile lingering on his lips.

“Eat you must be hungry” he couldn’t be more right.

“Just a little” I lied, and he moved his head pointing to the food, making me signs to eat. I didn’t think twice. I took 3 pancakes that I showered in syrup and 2 toasts that I dressed with butter, I poured a full glass of fruit juice and I started eating without stopping.

After a few minutes I could feel his scrutinizing stare making wholes on the top of my head which made me stop and look at him. His eyes were wide open like his mouth was hanging open, he looked at my face and then at my food, his mouth was then slowly closing as his eyes were getting his usual shape, suddenly the corners of his mouth were twitching till a wide smile broke through and it turned into a noisy laughter.

I looked at him shocked; I didn’t know what was going on is he laughing at me? 

“I thought you were just a little bit hungry”

He said, and a nervous smile came through my lips as I realized that I was eating like a Viking, shucking it all in like a hoover.

 “Ok, I was really hungry” I said and with a louder laughter he said

“If you were that hungry why didn’t you come down before?”

I went blank for a few seconds, blinking stupidly at the question and then we both started laughing. In that precise moment I didn’t dislike him so much, I was actually enjoying his company…and then she came slumming the door shut behind her. My mood changed drastically, I was no longer laughing and I couldn’t finish my food because my stomach closed like a shield at the thought of having her close.

My body tensed.

She walked into the kitchen I looked down and stared at my plate 

“What are you wearing” Did she just snort?

“Is there a problem?” I said letting her know how unwelcomed her comment was

 “What’s wrong with the dresses I left for you?”

 “I don’t wear dresses” I snapped and she stared at me in disbelieve

“Every teenage girl wears dresses from time to time”

“I’m not like any teenage girl” I said as I stood up

“Something you would’ve known if you knew me”

I got my backpack and stormed out of the door. Once outside I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know where to go I didn’t know how to get to school, I just wanted to get out of there and Jeremy came to the rescue, 5 points for Jeremy I thought.

He got out of the house and put his hand on my shoulder, I looked at him a bit uncomfortable I thought I told him last night that I wasn’t the emotion showing kind I didn’t need his sympathy. I shook him off, making me feel uneasy you’re gone from 5 to 2 points Jeremy; he looked at me with another one of his annoying smiles and then started walking towards the truck

“C’mon I’ll take you to school” 

Without hesitation I got into the truck, he was about to drive off when he asked me to put my seatbelt on

“There are lots of animals around; you never know what can come across your path”

Animals? Great!, I quickly fastened my seatbelt.

I wasn’t fond of animals of any kind, when my friends used to beg for their parents to get them puppies; I used to run from them, just imagine what a big wild animal could do. Suddenly the dream of last night –where that huge, big monster or whatever it was, was attacking me— came to my mind.

“Gabriella” I mumbled under my breath

          “What?” Jeremy was looking at me quizzically

“Nothing”

I turned to my window while holding my medallion. Why was my name Gabriella and not Gabrielle in my dream? I’ve had lots of dreams and my name always remained intact but then I thought that maybe the fact that Jeremy’s been calling me Gabriella all night long might have something to do with it, and I forgot about it. I was again just looking through the window, I saw a few houses around Elizabeth’s house, all the houses were old but Elizabeth’s looked older even though it was refurbished, I could tell. And her house was bigger than the others as well; the neighbourhood wasn’t really big, after a few minutes all you could see where trees and more trees, the mountains at the far end. I don’t remember Jeremy asking any questions, I wasn’t paying attention either so I wouldn’t know, as always I was trapped in my thoughts. I wanted to call my friends but last night I dozed off early and this morning…well you know.

We were in town now; I could see shops and kids all over the place going hand by hand in a long row. Going to school I guess *sigh* this is going to be booooring…

After a while I just let my eyes wonder through town without paying much attention to what I was seeing and then I saw it, a big old building like castle, how did we get here? I thought while looking around, we were surrounded by trees how’s anybody supposed to know where this is. I looked straight forward and I saw a sign that said St. Martyr’s high school are you kidding me?

“What?” Jeremy said looking at me

“Martyr?”

I sure was a martyr going to a school called St. Martyr he then smiled at me with understanding

“Stephen Marty was the founder of this town, so the council named the school after him to commemorate his actions; he did well to this town”

I see, I looked away from him and stared at the school

“How old is this place?”

“Old enough” he said and I didn’t ask anything else.

He parked in the school’s parking lot and I got my backpack after taking my seatbelt off, he did too. And as I opened the door he opened his door too, it took me just a second to realize what he was doing and I slammed my door shut, oh no, hell no.

“You are so NOT getting in there with me”

“Somebody needs to show you around”

“I’ll get a map, I’ll find my way to the head office don’t worry about that” after a few seconds he closed his door and put his seatbelt on. I inhaled and exhaled and got out of the truck, I took a few steps and then went back quickly to show my face through the passenger’s window.

“Did you change your mind?” he said with excitement

“No” I said at once “you won’t be taking me to school every day, will you? All the excitement disappeared from his face as he heard me saying that making me feel uneasy again. I don’t know how but he always has a way of making me feel bad for my comments, so I quickly fixed it

“I’m really independent; I’m not used to letting people take care of me”

And it was true, even with daddy; I was the one taking care of him. He smiled making me feel a bit better. Just a bit cause it stilled annoyed me that he smiled that much.

“You drive?” he finally said, Mmh…duh! 

“Any teenager drives from age 16” he nodded

“I thought you weren’t like any other teenager”

He said and I gave him one of my wonderfully fake smiles, when I realized what he really meant by that.

“I’ll see what I can do”

He said and then left, I wanted to kick his ass but I decided to save my frustration for Elizabeth, so for now 0 points for Jeremy.

I started to walk towards the building, I could feel eyes on me and I didn’t like that. You see I may be brave when it comes to facing Elizabeth but I’m not a people’s person, I don’t do nice and I don’t like to be the centre of attention.

I tend to lose my equilibrium when I’m surrounded by people, my palms sweat and I get a little bit shy. And the people at the parking lot weren’t helping with my phobia. I started walking faster till I tripped with my own feet, how apt!!! 

Thank god I didn’t fall just tripped, and once I got my balance back I got into the building all flushed like a traffic light.

There were like 3 different routes to go through, but I didn’t know which one to get to find the head office, so I had to do what I didn’t want to do…ask for help.

I choose the straight forward route trying to look for somebody friendly enough to ask, but they were all looking… No, staring at me. That made me nervous, Stop looking at me please!

“You look like you need help”

Said a voice behind me, as I turned I found myself facing a rock chick kind of girl, she had shoulder length strawberry blonde hair with a pink strip in her long fringe, her hair falling down in curls and she was wearing a black leather jacket with blue jeans and black boots, she looked nice.

“I think I could use some help” I finally said

“Ok, what are you looking for?

“The head office, I need to get my books”

She looked at me for a moment and it felt like she was trying to see through me and then her face lighted up as it looked like realization came to her.

“Oh right, you must be Gabrielle” should it surprise me that she knows who I am, such a small town...

“That’s me” I said

“Yeah…I was wondering why I never saw you around, I’m Brook by the way” we shook hands

“Nice to meet you” She pointed to the left and we started walking

“So…how are you finding it here?”

“I got here yesterday, couldn’t tell”

“Well there isn’t much to do around here as you may already know but if you ever want to do something call me”

She gave me her card, it read

“Brook Scott, artiste and musician?”

“That’s me and this” pointing to the office “what you were looking for”

“Thank you”

“I have to go now…see you around” and she went as she came, suddenly.

I got into the office; it was a cubical, small for such a building. There was a woman at the desk, she was small and slim, a cute woman. Her half moon spectacles were rested over her nose as she searched for something on her monitor, I waited till she was free from the phone and then I went on.

“Hello I’m—

“Gabrielle Thomas, I know” Will I ever be able to introduce myself??

 “I was waiting for you” she went on “let me take a look at you”

She held me at arms length looking at me from head to toe.

“Wow! You are such a big girl, huh? Look at you! You have her wavy black her and her same eyes; yep you definitely are her daughter how cute. I’m friends with your mum; you can call me Anny. I really don’t understand how did she manage to keep you hidden for so long without telling anybody, but we are all very happy to finally be able to meet you. There’s been a buzz going around ever since she enlisted you in the school, so everybody is very excited. You are gonna love it here. How are you by the way?

“Good thanks”

“Ooh you even have her kind of deep voice” Shut up, please… 

“Look, here are your books, locker’s number and password. This is your map; you can find anything and everything in it”

She said giving me a pile of books and a few single sheets.

“Thank you” I took everything and start stepping back towards the door, as I did she moved forward.

“Will you be ok?”

“Sure”

“I can help you if you want” NO! 

“It’s ok I’ll be fine” I said getting out of the office “Thanks” I screamed already halfway through the corridor.  For a second I was glad that she kept me hidden from her. I started processing what she said back in there and my mind couldn’t accept those compliments??? Why? What? What!! Her wavy hair; her same eyes? Nobody had ever offended me the way she did in my own face.

I thought I had enough of my dad in me to overpower whatever similarities I could have with her but it looked like I was wrong, I even sound like her, aaaaah!!! So annoying, I wanted to scream but the corridors were now full of people and I didn’t want to draw more attention to me.

Afterwards I found my locker –where I deposited my books— and my first classroom with the help of my map. I told Jeremy I would find my way around here, didn’t I? 10 points for me.

Morning classes went by very quick putting aside those 5 minutes –that felt like hours—I had to spend in front of 30 people on each class to introduce myself.

One word.

 Humiliating.

 I tripped over twice, making a statement about my lack of equilibrium. I was pulled on the board too soon to solve some maths problems, letting people know that I was a freaking nerd and I broke my nail, not that I cared but just to add to the pile.

I found Brook in Spanish and then she showed me around till we got into the cafeteria, I wasn’t really hungry so I just got a sandwich, an apple and a bottle of water. I looked at her tray and she had all kind of groceries, from cheesy biscuits to lollypops. She then led me into an empty table where later another girl joined us.

She was a dark hair black girl, she dressed kind of hippy for cold season, and she had red lipstick on, she looked cool. They both were obviously making a personality statement. I liked it; they didn’t look like everybody else.

“Hi I’m Jennifer Prado, you can call me Jenny”

She said while letting her tray fall on the table making a lousy noise

“Hi, I’m G—

“Gabrielle Thomas yeah, yeah I know” she interrupted me “well everybody knows who you are actually”

“I see, I guess I won’t need to introduce myself to anybody next time”

“No you won’t, how do you feel about that?

 Jenny said as she gave a bite to her sandwich, seeing that I wasn’t going to reply she continued.

“I’m just asking cause I’d be pretty pissed if everybody knew who I was but I couldn’t return the favour”

“It’s overwhelming”

I replied picking up my sandwich to give it a bite, but I felt eyes on me what’s wrong with this people? Have they never seen a new comer?

“Why is everybody looking at me like that?”

My palms were starting to moisten. They both looked around and then back to their trays.

“How would you want them to look at you? This is a small town you know, everybody knows everybody around here and we just found out that Elizabeth, the young and beautiful Elizabeth has a 17 year old girl that nobody knew about” said Jenny

How is that my fault? Huh? How is that fair?

          “Is just weird” said Brook apologetic.

“Is not like I’m thrilled about it either” I muttered under my breath

“Did you say something?” asked while gulping down her bottle of water “Nope”

“So you lived in California right?” she kept questioning me

I hate talking about me with estrangers but if I’m going to be around these 2 girls most of the time I better start being nice, be friendly Gabrielle

“Yeah, with my dad”

“Where is he now?” 

I thought this was a small town where everybody knew about other people’s business, so shouldn’t they know where my father is? Brook was looking at Jenny with shock, she obviously knew

“He’s dead”

Jenny’s face went blank, if she could’ve gotten red she would have.

“I’m sorry I—

“It’s ok”

Although it was not ok, I had been trying hard not to think about my dad while I was here because I knew I would break down, and now I could feel tears pushing their way through

“I’m gonna go get some fresh air”

I suddenly stood up almost knocking my chair backwards making its legs cares the cool floor with a hiss. Again, all the heads snapped in my direction

“This place is a bit crowded”

I hurried to the door; the closest one to the outdoors was a few metres away. I needed to get out as soon as possible.

Once finally out, I got lost in my thoughts, concentrating in pushing those tears back to the back of my head, paying attention to nothing but my thoughts and as a normal consequence I bumped into something hard slamming my bum on the floor. 

Ouch! I don’t remember seeing any pillar standing out here. 

          “Sorry” I mumbled.

When I recovered from the crash I tried to stand, of course facing the floor, I didn’t want to meet any of the eyes that were now laid on me and as I did a hand was offered to me, I took it instinctively to help me up without looking at him –cause he had to be a he; no girl could be that hard and strong—

Sparks seemed to crawl from the tip of my fingers up my arm at his touch and I flinched away instinctively. I apologised again and kept walking, this time looking up front so I wouldn’t bump into anything else.

For some strange reason my scalp started prickling again and I felt Goosebumps, I could feel eyes on the back of my head, making a whole on my skull with the stare. It made me feel uncomfortable, so I turned to look however nobody was there.

I felt silly.

The rest of the day went by even quicker, I wasn’t bother by the comments anymore, and I was a pro in tuning unpleasant things out of my head.

Jenny apologized to me like a 100 times before she let me go it didn’t matter the 101 times I told her not to worry about it.

Jeremy picked me up and we talked a little on our way “to the house I’ll live in”. When we arrived she wasn’t there so I excused myself saying that I still had to unpack and clean the mess I left in my room this morning, he didn’t mind but he told me to be down by dinner time

“I don’t want to see you starving again, do you understand me?”

He wasn’t smiling.

I decided to continue with my morning plans, she’s not here she doesn’t exist I repeated to myself over and over again.

I grabbed a few stuff from my room so I could clean myself up and change my clothes to more comfortable ones. After I got into my room again and locked the door. I started unpacking and cleaning and while putting my clothes in the wardrobe I couldn’t avoid seeing those dresses hanging in there.

I wanted to chuck them away, but that would lead me into an argument with her and I wanted to avoid her as much as possible let aside arguing with her, so I pushed them into the far end of the wardrobe letting them get dusty.

I chuckled, a maleficent laugh, the kind of laugh bad guys have in bad movies, a ha-ha-ha kind of laugh, but a

“Dinner’s ready!”

Call from Jeremy snapped me out of my pleasure; I didn’t realize time went by so quick. What’s up with today?

I got out of my room and washed my hands before walking down, concentrating in my performance for the night, she’s not here, she doesn’t exist.

I didn’t understand why it felt so difficult for me to handle it, why I thought so much about her but then, I guess that before I didn’t have a face to look at, a voice to ignore or a presence to avoid, she was here now, she was tangible she was real, and that bothered me like you could never imagine.

Dinner was good, but I ate really fast so I could leave the table, it was a quiet dinner. I liked the silence I didn’t feel awkward in it, I couldn’t say the same thing for them though and whenever they tried to talk to me or to each other, I just tuned them out.

After I finished with my food I waited for them to finish so I could clean the dishes, even though I didn’t like staying in the same place as her for long my dad taught me manners and my duty was to wash the dishes, but Jeremy said he’d do it. I’m starting to like him again 5 points Jeremy.

Now finally in my bed I could relax, the bed was warm and soft, easy to sleep in and I was soooo tired because remember, that dream didn’t let me sleep, I wish I could remember more of it.

To be continued…..                        Copyright © Nansi N